just sharing...

No one taught me to dance to the sound of that music but I have a feeling I know what I’m doing. No one taught me how to love either but I love God, I love my family and I love you. And yet still there’s something missing. Although I get tired when I’m dancing, when I stop, I seem to be in a state of grace, of profound ecstasy. I want that ecstasy to last throughout the day and for it to help me find what I lack: the love of a man. I can see the heart of that man while I’m dancing, but not his face. I sense that he’s close by, which is why I need to remain alert. I need to dance in the morning so that I can spend the rest of the day paying attention to everything that’s going on around me.

p. 55

Elegance isn’t a superficial thing, it’s the way mankind has found to honor life and work. That’s why, when you feel uncomfortable in that position, you mustn’t think that it’s false or artificial: it’s real and true precisely because it’s difficult. That position means that both the paper and the brush feel proud of the effort of making. The paper ceases to be a flat, colorless surface and takes on the depth of the things placed on it. Elegance is the correct posture if the writing is to be perfect. It’s the same with life: when all superfluous things have been discarded, we discover simplicity and concentration. The simpler and more sober the posture, the more beautiful it will be, even though, at first, it may seem uncomfortable.

p. 79

There are two kinds of letters; the first is precise but lacks soul. In this case, although the calligrapher may have mastered the technique, he has focused solely on the craft, which is why it hasn’t evolved, but become repetitive; he hasn’t grown at all, and one day he’ll give up the practice of writing, because he feels it is mere routine.

The second kind is done with great technique but with soul as well. For that to happen, the intention of the writer must be in harmony with the word. In this case, the saddest verses cease to be clothed in tragedy and are transformed into simple facts encountered along the way.

You know the effort it took to sit in the correct position, to quiet your soul, keep your intentions clear, and respect each letter of each word. Meanwhile, keep practicing. After a great deal of practice, we no longer think of our existence. Before reaching that stage, however, you must practice and repeat. And if that’s not enough, you must practice and repeat some more.

Look at a skilled blacksmith working steel. To the untrained eye, he’s merely repeating the same hammer blows, but anyone trained in the art of calligraphy knows that each time the blacksmith lifts the hammer and brings it down, the intensity of the blow is different. The hand repeats the same gesture, but as it approaches the metal, it understands that it must touch it with more or less force. It’s the same thing with repetition: it may seem the same, but it’s always different. The moment will come when you no longer need to think about what you’re doing. You become the letter, the ink, the paper, the word.

p.80-82

You, who have always occupied my time and left me staring at mirrors from each corner of my abode. My soul reaches out to you eveytime it yearns even just a touch from you. Every night thoughts of you fog my wakefulness and drive me to reach from my deepest inside then grasp on some little bits of teardrops. 

I follow you through my ordinary sightings, walking in the shadows, slightly shy but still extends a tip of hope, a ray of happiness it could be. On and on my wandering of you echoes the longing of a glance, the silence of our whispering, the beating of our hearts, together.

Deeper and deeper i have sunk but within the holes are snippets f green  fighting towards the light beyond. Holding on to one sends me back to some clouds gasping through the air of lightness breathing in to the smell of heaven.

Suddenly the touch of a memory jolts me back to where you are within my wondering. I have strolled far inside my numbness yet each time i raise myself to the blindness, greyness welcomes.

Stranded in the vastness far unreachable it lurks in the air as it sticks along my surroundings. Everywhere its you but when i close these eyes, i lie then brings me back to this hovering bee, why can't i see you from afar?

I have found you and fell in love amidst everything else. We have been apart but tried to keep in touch. The time apart was just too much for me to handle and decided I have enough. And you said you had enough too. I don’t know what happened but the pain of not having you around is just too much. On the other hand, having you would just be a little too much.

SLOW

I like the way you wanted me
Every night for so long baby
I like the way you needed me
Every time things got rocky

I was believing in you
Was I mistaken do you say
Do you say what you mean
I want our love to last forever


But I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

I like the way you'd hold me
Every night for so long baby
I like the way you'd say my name
In the middle of the night
While you were sleeping

I was believing in you
Was I mistaken do you mean
Do you mean what you say
When you say our love could last forever


Well I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye(goodbye)
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow


You would run around and lead me on forever
While I wait at home still thinking we're together
I wanted our love to last forever

I was believing in you


I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

Dont love and lie
I'd rather hear the the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow
Baby don't you break my heart slow

LATELY

Lately, I have had the strangest feeling
With no vivid reason here to find
Yet the thought of losing you's been hanging
'round my mind

Far more frequently you're wearing perfume
With you say no special place to go
But when I ask will you be coming back soon
You don't know, never know

Well, I'm a girl of many wishes
Hope my premonition misses
But what I really feel my eyes won't let me hide
'Cause they always start to cry
'Cause this time could mean goodbye

Lately I've been staring in the mirror
Very slowly picking me apart
Trying to tell myself I have no reason
with your heart

Just the other night while you were sleeping
I vaguely heard you whisper someone's name
But when I ask you of the thoughts your keeping
You just say nothing's changed

Well, I'm a girl of many wishes
I hope my premonition misses
But what I really feel my eyes won't let me hide
'Cause they always start to cry
'Cause this time could mean goodbye, goodbye

SET YOU FREE

We often fool ourselves
And say that it's love
Only cause when it's gone We end up being lonely
So how are we to know That it just isn't so
That we just have to let each other go
There were many times
When we shared precious moments
But later realized they were only stolen moments
So how are we to know That it just wasn't so
That we just had to let each other go

If loving you is all that means to me
When being happy is all I hope you'd be
Then loving you must mean
I really have to set you free

Each day remains my love for you
Keeps growing stronger But everytime we meet
Makes leaving you so much harder
So how are we to know That this just wasn't so
That we just have to let each other go

If loving you is all that means to me
When being happy is all I hope you'd be
Then loving you must mean
I really have to set you free
Letting go is not an easy task
When smiling feels like
I must wear this lonely mask
It hurts deep inside And I just cannot hide
That there's anguish at the thought
That we should have to part

If loving you is all that means to me
When being happy is all I hope you'd be
Then loving you must mean
I really have to set you free

If loving you is all that means to me
When being happy is all I hope you'd be
Then loving you must mean
I really have to set you free

Mistakes have been committed but that doesn’t mean I will lie on it forever. I have find a way to stop the illusions though it may not be a sure win-all situation, I know I’ll grasp the truthful way to start my life all over again.

I have been lying in lies for days and as I have been struggling to get up circumstances drag me down to swim with filthy, horrible creatures enjoying the swing of their arms, the kick of their legs and the blue wave of water that washes each strokes towards their own world. Water an element occupying or flowing in a particular bed and that is a clear definition of what I have been doing. I thought going with the flow will lead me to an unfamiliar, happy place. It may be so while travelling to the current but lately, coursing through the torrent and engulfing all its form that I pass is just hard.

The water that descends from clouds and in which I have been swimming into is a lie.

And breathing in through each stroke is a pain. I pause and linger on to the others that have been looking, whispering or talking, waiving and leaving. Yes, I am hurting but amidst all the lies that surround me I have Him and so I said to myself I have to get out of here! I have to go back at the beginning, rewind all actions that have been taken and start a new life. Though it may be difficult to go back or rewind back in to my life, I have to start somewhere because this is what I believe is true.

Slowly I will pick up the pieces – this will be my pace. Not to rush to something or someone new. I will make my own body of water however long it may take. I will be sprinkling each field’s with happiness and hope. Only then will I truly be happy, only then will I finally be free.

Six months of crossroads with you my love. A slow smile is glowing as memories of you and me begun and come flooding yet keeping everything so still. Gradually soaking my precious thoughts of sanity. I ride with you towards the crossroads, half awake and half blind. Yes, it has been exciting, joyful and thrilling too.

Two roads crisscrossed its way to us my love. Showing each beauties and ugliness; beckoning our presence, our time and our lives. Capturing everything that passes in between; leaving no trails of innocence.  Sheepishly holding you and me and so tight it binds us. Fastening us to our seats, holding us captive to the enthralling trance of this highway so long and infinite.

One road leads towards the north – the future; the other to the south – the past. Two sides gearing to the left and then to the right my love.  These four roads, each have their stories, each have their heartaches, each have their lives lived and loved. Different directions pointing us in each separate ways; dividing our thoughts, our faith and yet hardships are not over as it will never be. As constant as change as evident as you and me.

Some days, you are with me and others are fleeting hours of waiting or maybe forever no one is sure. But in the middle we have manifested incomparable affection or fondness that I may call love. In the midst of it all we have found each other and bounded time to our side. Ignoring those crisscross, discounting those four roads. I could laugh or cry in the irony of our lives together but thinking of you brings warmth into this cold, cold heart, my love.

The roads are unending and our hearts are unyielding. But the truth is I am mystified because in the middle of the crossroads I have found me standing tall. Picking up the stones, keeping some in my pockets; sometimes bending to choose wildflowers in the pavements and smelling some. Then I look up my love.